It’s common for people to think that acts of physical violence are the only form of domestic abuse, but in reality, an abusive relationship can take a number of different forms and it’s important that you identify what these are:

1. Domestic violence / Physical Abuse

Also referred to as intimate partner violence, a violent relationship tends to start with verbal abuse and threats, until it eventually results in physical assaults. 

Any physical force that injures or endangers you, causing physical harm, is physical abuse.

Physical violence can range from anything, from black eyes to broken bones, and it’s important to realize that lesser physical injury doesn’t make the abuse any more acceptable – physical abuse does not need to result in medical care to be classed as domestic abuse. 

At no point is it acceptable for anyone to receive physical injuries from another individual, and even less so, by one who is claiming to be in a close relationship with you. 

2. Sexual Abuse 

It can be confusing for victims of sexual assaults within a close relationship, to identify boundaries of which sexual activity is acceptable and which is sexual abuse. 

Any form of unwanted sexual advances is a form of sexual assaults, this could be done by using guilt, physical force, or shaming in order to have sex, or perform a sexual activity against your will. 

Sexual violence is a form of relationship violence and non-consensual sex is classed as rape, regardless of whether you share a close relationship with the other person or not. 

Sexual abuse is at a higher risk of eventually resulting in violent attacks, serious injuries or death. 

3. Verbal Abuse 

If your partner is constantly using words in order to scare, control or belittle you, this is considered as verbal abuse. 

It’s common practice that the abuser tries to make you feel like it’s your fault, this is not the case, but is actually one of the biggest signs of insecurity in abusers. 

The abuser will accuse you of things you aren’t doing, (usually due to jealousy and a lack of trust), manipulate, degrade and criticize you. This could be in private, or in front of friends and family. 

Arguments in a healthy relationship are not uncommon, but verbal abuse is a far more impactful issue within relationships.

Here are some red flags to help you understand if the comments and arguments are abusive:

• Happens very regularly 
• Arguments are not around genuine issues, but instead ‘made up’ 
• Your point of view is never relevant 
• There is no compromise or agreement found
• The abuser will always ‘win’ and dominate every argument 
• Abuser often yells and screams
• You have not started the argument, but are blamed for it
• They will act as the victim and make you feel guilty (Example –  ‘You’ve made me shout at you; how do you think that makes me feel?’)
• They lash out and hit walls, or pound their fists
• You are made to feel grateful for not being hit or physically abused 

4. Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can take a few different forms and is often harder to spot or identify as abuse.

If you are a victim of psychological abuse, it is easy to miss the constant thread of control, fear and manipulation that you are treated with, and you have probably found yourself trying to excuse their behavior: 

• ‘Is it my fault?’
• ‘Maybe I deserved it this time.’
• ‘They have been stressed recently, maybe that’s why.’

Isolating you from your friends and family as much as possible is another key sign of emotional abuse. 

All of this emotional abuse starts to damage your self-worth, confidence and independence, making you feel as though you couldn’t survive without your abusive partner, because no one else could possibly want you.

No matter what the circumstances are, or who the individual is, emotional and psychological abuse is not your fault and you do not deserve it.

5. Financial Abuse

Also referred to as economic abuse, this is a very real, and damaging type of abusive relationship.

Your abuser will closely control your finances, withholding any cash or credit cards so that you cannot spend freely, or giving you an allowance and making you account for every penny spent.

This could be to control your movements and damage your daily life, by making you late for work, meetings, or social events, giving them complete control of your actions through money. 

In severe cases, you could be denied money to access basic human rights, such as food, medication or shelter.